#54

I'm too tired to care.

I'm tired today, not with lack of sleep although that may be a contributor, but tired in my body - it hasn't had enough rest. My back is aching, my shoulders are aching and my neck is becoming more stiff and sore as the days go by. This is reminding me of when I was working on the buses when my poor ole body just got too tired and rebelled. My hands are starting to show the signs of stress too, the skin on my palms is getting thicker and breaking out and they were looking and feeling so good too, I am so disappointed. I only have another week or so to go on my wombat shifts then I can rest up so it will have to last me till then.

One good thing though, I've decided not to go ahead with the volunteering with the youth group, I am sure the parents should do that - I've done my turn with kids and having brought one up totally on my own for almost 19 years now, I think it is someone else's turn, I'm too tired. Not to mention driving around in the dark with the entire responsibility on my own and I ask the question .. as a volunteer driver, who carries the can if something bad happened? If I was a paid employee I know I would have the security but as a volunteer I have decided I don't want the responsibility, comes back to all those years on my own, I think someone better qualified than me should be given the responsibility.

Among other reasons I have, I don't particularly relish the idea of coming home alone in the dark and the amount of animals on the road after dark, no way! I don't even go out myself much at night for that same reason so I'm blowed if I'm going to do it for other people's kids on a non-paying all responsibility basis, not at my age.

I remember when you used to come with me when I was doing the night shift on the buses up to Noosa and out to Landsborough, just to look after Mum lol and I remember telling you many times how good it was just to know you were there, silently backing me up and keeping me company. Even though your interests were vested and you really loved those volvos. It was very reassuring to me. I lost all those photos I had of them when my hard drive crashed last year.

Today I've just dragged myself around doing housework and stuff, got up at 8.30 went to the shop for the papers, had brekkie, did the vacuuming - tons of cat fur on the floor thanks to Jimi and Em for tusseling with each other and tearing out chunks of fur. I can just imagine what the place is going to look like during spring when they are shedding. After that I had my shower (like this is after midday), did a load of washing, hung it on the clotheshorse since it is still leaking outside, did the washing up and tidied up and yeah now it's 4.30 almost the end of the day and I haven't done any fun stuff! And with a 7 day shift facing me, wahhhhh.

I am just going to have a small look around on the net then watch the dvd I have from the library (the second half of Lockie Leonard lol) then it's off for an early night for this boring oldie. Not like me at all, lol.

Love from Mum

xxx