#77

This is your 5th week! Well done and I know you are enjoying yourself and getting to do some real work instead of what they were using you for in Co-op. Here is a part of a text you sent me tonight ....... "got to change a rocker cover seal all by myself today on a hiace van. I gota do a service on it tomorrow im getting it ready for a roadworthy i had to install new tail lights a centre seatbelt and new brakes".

Now this is a reminder to myself so I don't forget how I am feeling.

Background .. went to stay at Waynes last Tuesday night, he was drunk, I left. Haven't heard from him yet lol.

I don't want to weaken and I think we are at the finish of this relationship. 24th today, exactly 18 months since we met.

Remember how I felt to have to drive home again after dark.

I got out of school at 2.30 - could have gone home, drove with the sun in my eyes.

My eyes were almost gummed together from them weeping all day because of being overtired.

He was cursing something shocking to himself as I was walking up the steps.

He said there was nothing wrong with being drunk.

Even though he had been drinking the week before, and I had already gone home on another occasion.

Let down again.

Remember how I felt the next morning when I found he had gone through my drawers (the towel folded up).

And he had been out by the clothesline.

And he had taken (by stealth when I wasn't here) his wire, no wonder he was stiff and sore from lifting it up.

Remember the moaning because he is stiff, other people grin and bear it.

Remember the scratching on the head.

Remember my birthday.

And all the occasions last year when he brought nothing every weekend.

He has to drink on a Friday night, can't let go of that to get here a day earlier.

Waking me up so I am tired the next days.

Remember all the occasions when I was just so tired I could hardly function, even last Tuesday when my eyes were leaking all day, I felt like death warmed up on Monday because he woke me on a few occasions and I had about 4 hours sleep. Could not catch up. Still tired today Thursday.

It is time to forget I think.

Did he steal Ian's walkman? My faith that he didn't is wavering because of when he was here by himself he went through my drawers and took that wire, what else that I haven't found yet. He took my towel, grrrr and my centreboard too when Stefan was here.

Remember the laziness.

His good points are now outweighed the bad ones.

xxxx