Poor Mum

What an awful way for a woman to end her days, languishing away in a hospital, waiting for someone else to die so she can take her place in a care facility.  Lost, not totally understanding how she ended up on her own in an unfamiliar bedroom, none of her belongings around her, being organised by strangers as if she had no brain to call her own.

Living in their own home 16 months ago, struggling with the burden of being elderly and less capable of looking after each other, my mother and father made the decision to leave their home and go to a comfortable retirement home.  They were put in separate rooms, one up one end of the facility, the other down the other, almost as far as possible apart.  Dad didn't want to leave his home and independence; mum was tired, confused and wanted dad to live in comfort, this was the beginning of the end really.

Whilst not apportioning any blame, two intelligent and outgoing people, having their independence totally taken away, treated as small children and having to totally rely on everyone else, started to decline. I doubt very much if any counselling was given to these two proud and independent souls so they could cope with facing the end of their days shut in an institution-like situation.  Very little stimulation in the way of outings, group discussions, crafts, meetings, was organised for them and the other residents.

We saw for ourselves the huge change in their demeanour when they were taken for outings away from the retirement home and the well-meaning but obstructive staff; they became alert, happy, independent thinking and sharp as tacks. The change when they re-entered the doors of their "new" home was alarming, all doom and gloom it was.

Dad lasted six months.

Mum lost her life partner and husband of 68 years.

Now look at her predicament.